Over five decades I have noticed a few things and drawn conclusions from those observations. With the new year upon us I thought it was time to share some of these with my readers.
1) THE ELDERLY LOVE YARD AND ESTATE SALES: This is a total befuddlement to me. I continue to buy consumables, ( gas, clothing, food), and I upgrade my technology. But the stuff at these sales, (furniture, art work, knick knacks), I have all of that I need and more. I tend to believe people that are ten years older than me or more would have all the stuff like that they need. But apparently they don’t. And when they leave this earth that stuff will be sold at yet another yard or estate sale. And the cycle continues.
2) ATTENDING A SPORTING EVENT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A FAN: When I was growing up if you went to a football, basketball, or baseball game you were going so you could actually watch the contest. You knew who the teams were, who the best players were, and all the statistical data on each team. If you went to someone else’s house to watch a game you got a TV tray, and on that was a sandwich, chips, and a drink. You were there to watch the game. The people who didn’t like or understand the sport stayed home and read a book. Now you have parties at people’s houses and tailgates at the games. If you are part of the elite you can attend the game in a suite. Many of these “fans” vaguely know about the teams competing, the rules, the players. For them it’s just a big meet and greet and a chance to dress up in that team’s colors. God forbid the weather is anything other than 72 degrees and sunny! My family in Wisconsin go to Green Bay Packer football games in snow and below zero weather. They endure the same challenges their team does. But the party goer has gone home rather than get a little wet, and his or her seat is now empty.
3) LOVE MEANS HAVING TO SAY YOU ARE SORRY….A LOT: Like most people I am familiar with the tear jerker Love Story, where Ali MacGraw’s character, shivering in the cold, tells her husband that famous line about love and apologizing. Well it was a tender and heartfelt thing to say but if you want your marriage to last you better ignore it. I have said I’m sorry more times than I can imagine and I will continue to apologize as often as I need to. When you stop saying you are sorry that is when the trouble really starts. Most arguments are over stupid things anyway. Apologizing lets you move on, and get a hot meal..or more!
4) AS LONG AS WE ARE TALKING ABOUT TEARS..MEN DO CRY AT MOVIES: I have cried at movies, but when guys cry it’s for different reasons. I cried when Dennis Hopper as Shooter Flatch told the Hickory Huskers in the movie Hoosiers to not get caught watching the paint dry. I cried when Carl Brashear, played by Cuba Gooding Jr. in Men of Honor, was trying to walk across a slick court room floor in a spun copper diving suit on one good leg towards Rober DeNiro as Master Chief Billy Sunday. As Gooding struggled Sunday barks “Cookie I want my twelve steps!” At that point I am out of my chair and on my feet with tears streaming, willing Brashear to report to his Master Chief! We don’t cry at sappy love stories. We cry when men or women take on severe challenges, and win. Shooter was an alcoholic rising to the occasion when his son’s team needed him. Brashear was an African-American diver who was discriminated against and wanted to come back to active duty with an artificial limb. Helping him was the very man that wanted to run him out of the Navy. Rudy when he sacks the quarterback in Notre Dame’s last home game and is carried off the field! Gale Sayers when he gives his Comeback Player of the Year award to Brian Piccolo! Niagara Falls!! All of those movies were based on real life stories, which made them even more compelling. Yes we weep, but they are manly tears.
5) WHEN YOU TRY TO PASS THE SLOW MOVING YAHOO IN THE LEFT LANE HE WILL SPEED UP: The left lane is for cars and trucks to pass other cars and trucks. If a vehicle gets in the left lane and drives slowly it really screws things up. But try and go around this oblivious motorist from the right lane and invariably that is when he will hit the gas! He doesn’t want to drive fast but he doesn’t want you to pass him either. Don’t confuse this guy with moron who rides your bumper when you are trying to pass the slow driver!
6) I KNOW I’M OLD BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING: Yes I officially know everything. I have the experience and mental acuity to solve all problems. If you don’t agree with me then you are wrong. Oddly there are people older than me who think they know everything. But they are wrong. Now I don’t disagree with my wife, but between you and me she’s wrong too. If everyone just did what I told them to do everything would be so much easier.
7) DON’T TOUCH MY GRILL: Men have been cooking meat over a fire for eons. Outside, in the elements, just men, meat, fire, and secret sauces. Yet some people think they can pop the lid or pick up the tongs. Anybody who touches another man’s grill is asking for trouble!
8) EVERYONE’S NEIGHBORHOOD, TOWN, CITY, STATE IS THE BEST: I’m convinced nobody lives in a crumby place. If they live there it’s better than where you live. Statistics, crime data, unemployment, school ratings, taxes, none of that matters. If you live there it’s better than where everyone else lives…until you move. Then that place is better!
9) EVERY TOM CRUISE MOVIE IS THE SAME: If you watch any movie with Tom Cruise he will be cocky, he will get the girl, he will be running with his back ram rod straight and his arms pumping, he will have a scene where he gets mad and end it with a contorted face and a fist pump, and there will be at least one fight sequence where he can flip and have his hair fly in the breeze. He will also face adversity and have to reflect on his life. I liked him better when he was just a supporting cast member in The Outsiders but even in that movie he does a hand stand on a fence.
10) EVERY PHOTO OF A GROUP OF TEENAGE OR COLLEGE AGE GIRLS IS THE SAME: They have their outside knee bent, a hand on their outside hip, and their head bent to the side. Is this a rule now for photographs? Was there a meeting and instructions handed out?
I have a lot more but ten observations is plenty. If you don’t agree with some of these go back and read number 6! Happy New Year!!!